Frustrated With Men Who Can’t Make Decisions?
By Guest Blogger Elliott Katz
He’s sensitive and tries hard to please you, but when there’s a problem to be dealt with, he’s oblivious. When you ask for his input on a decision, he says, “It’s up to you.” He wants to be nice and doesn’t understand why he’s frustrating you. He doesn’t understand you want a strong man.
Today’s men have received so many confusing messages on what a man should be, they’re bewildered. To avoid accusations of being controlling, many men have gone to the other extreme and avoid showing leadership and making decisions. They think being sensitive and non-controlling is pleasing you and can’t understand why they are not pleasing you at all.
The biggest complaint I hear from women is that men today don’t show leadership, they don’t make decisions and they won’t take responsibility. My book, Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants, which is being translated into 21 languages in Asia, Europe and Latin America, was the result of my own journey seeking insight on what it really means to be a man. I found wise advice in the lessons that fathers and other older male role models taught younger men on how to be a strong man who shows leadership and makes decsions.
Aside from getting him to read the book, how can a woman encourage a man to start taking the lead? Here are three tips:
Let him decide.
If he asks you to make a decision, simply say: “You decide.” Then don’t say anything else. Let him decide. Avoid criticizing him — it will discourage him.
“Would you please handle it?”
Ask him to take charge of handling a problem but don’t tell him what to do. If he asks, say: “You decide. If you’re not sure, do research. That’s what I do.” Avoid contradicting him unless what he wants to do is damaging.
Tell him he made a good decision and how much you appreciate when he takes charge and handles a problem. If he made a mistake, tell him what you learned from it. Keep doing this and you will soon have the strong man you want.
Elliott Katz is the author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants which is available from Amazon.com and bookstores. He has been interviewed on more than 130 radio and TV shows including Wellness for the Real World with Dr. Veronica.