Keeping Passion Alive With Tantric Meditation

By Guest Blogger Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.

A lot of us have had the experience of feeling the fires of passion go out in a marriage.

I used to think that this was just “the way it is”. In my first marriage of 11 years, I tried all the usual tricks to keep passion alive–group therapy, fantasy role playing, dressing up in sexy lingerie, trying new sexual positions, using sex toys. Although some of these things helped, I could feel that the core of the problem was still there, and for me, even though I loved my partner, sex became a chore that I could do without.

In my second marriage of 12 years a similar pattern emerged, but there were times when desire was low, and times when it was higher. During this marriage I had learned a little bit about something called tantric meditation, and it seemed to help. We didn’t know much aside from how to breath and slow down lovemaking to prolong orgasm. But just the act of doing this seemed to create more connection and make the infrequent times that we did have sex more satisfying.

After my second marriage, I was called to learn more about tantric meditation (which I prefer to call sacred sex) and was lucky enough to start dating a man who was also very interested in this practice. What happened changed my life. The sex began as pretty good, but with some awkward spots, then evolved to really good, then became mind-blowing. The most incredible part of it was that every time we had sex it seemed completely different. Over a period of 5 years, having sex at least 3 times per week, I found that I simply couldn’t get enough. I was always ready and primed for sex. And when we did connect, I wanted to make love for hours. The problem became limiting my time having sex with my partner so that the rest of life could get done!

The practice of sacred sex is a spiritual path. It doesn’t require you to subscribe to any particular religion or worship any particular gods. It’s about getting in touch with the part of you that is sacred and the part of your partner that is divine. The subject of how to do this practice is way too big to fit into a blog, so I had to write a book about it–”Journey to Sexual Wholeness”. Here is a sample of one practice from the book to try.

Just breath together. Sit facing each other and let your inhales and exhales move together. If one of you breathes more deeply than the other, see if you can find a middle ground where you are both comfortable with the pace of the breath. Once you find that middle ground, spend about 5 minutes (or more) just breathing together. If you like, you can look into each other’s eyes while you breathe, and try to remember what it was like when you first fell in love. I invite you to notice how this simple practice helps you to feel more connected.

Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A., is a love and intimacy coach who works with clients all over the world to rekindle their passion for life, love and sex. You can find her how-to book about tantric meditation “Journey to Sexual Wholeness” on Amazon.com or at Yabyummy.com