Moving with Friends

I met my friend Bonnie at the gym this morning. It was one of our unplanned meetings. I had already taken a spin class and was supposed to run a few miles in preparation for that half marathon coming up this Sunday but I just didn’t feel like it. As I came into the locker room to grab my book, Bonnie was yakking with one hand on her hip and the other in the air preparing to put on her pink earphones. We went to the elliptical machines and chatted for 40 minutes while burning calories. I told her of my trip to Beverly Hills and she described outfits that had arrived for her store that women were already fighting over. Time evaporated.

Bonnie is the kind of friend that you need if you want to watch your figure. Take note, because obesity is contagious. It is like an infectious disease and it spreads among not just families but also friends. Didn’t  you always wonder why African-American women are so fat? 80% of us are overweight compared to 65% of the general population. Well, guess what? It’s because we tend to have fat sister friends. I think this is one reason that I have shed most of my black women friends. We have a major rift in our values as I value very much being fit and well and many of my sisters just do not. I do have a new sister friend. Tracy really upped the anty. She is a contest winning body builder and former Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleader. She is in Billy Blanks Tae Bo videos! More on Tracy at another time as I know you all want to see her. She is fabulous like all my new friends.

Now, if you think I am being harsh about obesity being contagious then let me just refer you to the research study done over 32 years reported in the New England Journal of Medicine that show that a person’s chance of becoming obese increased by 57% who had a friend become obese, among siblings if one becomes obese you have a 40% chance of becoming obese and if a spouse becomes obese you have a 37% chance.

Now as I listened to Bonnie talk about her great tennis game last Sunday (she knows how to get across that court and put that ball away like Clijsters) she invited me to go skiing this February in Aspen. We both started fantasizing about the ski outfits we are going to get and I started moving faster on the elliptical because I want one of those pair of ski pants that hugs my butt. She also told me of the hotel where we will stay which is the one where the most single attractive men stay. (Oh no, Hun. I am not letting you in on this secret. I am a smart woman and I have to keep the competition at bay until I pick who I want). Now we both have financial goal of how much debt needs to be paid and money needs to be made to get us to Aspen in said hotel.

If you want to move you also need friends like Judy. I met her while doing my first marathon. Judy is a yoga teacher and invited me to yoga which miraculously cured my body post marathon. Judy has one of the most fit bodies you want to see. If you think you like Michele Obama’s arms, you should see Judy’s. When she was substitute teaching in a high school once, the boys in the class asked her how she had gotten so defined as she lots fit and strong, not like a body builder but like a woman. She told them yoga and tamed the savage beast in that inner city school classroom as she demonstrated poses and movements and got the whole class interested and involved. When I visit Judy we walk into town or go to the park and do four to six mile loops while talking about-what else?-MEN.

Lori Gottleib-author of Marry Him: The Case of Settling for Mr. Good Enough wrote in Marie Claire “What if Your Best Friends Are Your Worst Enemies?” In this article Lori speaks of this solidarity among women in which they do not tell each other the hard truth like “You’re fat and you need to exercise and  stop eating those half gallons of ice cream all in one sitting” and “If I were a man I would quit your  b#%chy fat*ss for your sexy fit  charming friend”.

For you picky women out there, you do need to settle for Mr. Good Enough because Bonnie, Judy and I are getting all the great men.  We keep each other fit and upbeat so we can keep going when the men know it matters most and that ain’t on the tennis court, in the yoga studio or on the marathon course. Remember if you don’t like what you see in the mirror, neither do the men. If you ask if something makes your butt look big, well yes-Duh- because it is the size of Texas.

Just as people’s wealth and net worth are directly correlated with that of the people in their friend circles so is weight. So if you want to be rich and thin …..you know what you need to do for starters. Fat is contagious. Obesity is and infectious disease! You may have to quarantine yourself from your friends, your family, your boyfriend or spouse. Period. Not because Dr. Veronica said so but because that is just the way it is supported by medical science.

Now that you are thoroughly mad at me, grab your giant friends and instead of going to Applebee’s, move your bodies and go from fat to fit. Your true friends want you to be a better you and want you to live a longer and healthier life. If they do not, you need to through out the old and bring in the new.

I elliptical, run, spin, yoga, cheer lead, ski and body build and walk with my friends. We go eat and share 1 salad and two sushi rolls and have 1 drink and then switch to club soda with lime, tea, and hot water with lemon. We shop at farmers market’s and Trader Joe’s together. We ski in our fab clothes while on the hunt. Do you think I look this good without a little help from my friends? From hair to lashes to clothes to body beautiful, I have some talented and awesome friends that keep me looking good on the outside and feeling good on the inside.

Ask yourself-Friends or Enemies? Who are the people in your life?

Dr. Veronica