Once You Go White, Is It Always All Right?
By guest blogger Rochelle Peachey
As the founder of Transatlantic dating site I Love Your Accent it pleases me that people from all across the world are interested in meeting foreigners. For some it may be purely getting to know a different culture, others may seek friendship across various Oceans and many more are looking for love.
“Niche” dating sites have sprung up all over the Internet assisting in one’s search for just the type of person they desire to meet. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being specific and voicing your likes, dislikes and whatever else you desire in your partner but what is a little odd is when you believe that one particular race will give you everything you want.
So for instance, let’s say the African American girl is fed up with Black men for whatever reason and she joins a dating site stating in her profile that she wants to meet a White man as they treat women better. Does she know that for sure or did she get that from someone at work who is dating a White guy and she said so? Will everything in her life be so much better because her boyfriend is White? Like most normal intelligent people I am extremely delighted that interracial dating is no big deal (no big ting) any longer, who cares who is dating who? But your life will only change if you want it to and Mr. White can only do so much.
On the flip side, the White girl who has suddenly become attracted to Black men will write on her profile that she would just love to date a Black man as they know how to treat a woman. It’s the same thing right? Is the grass really greener if the man is White instead of Black and vice versa?
From my point of view the more open you are to dating other races the more likely you are to find the one, that special person who does it for you. Even dating within your own race it’s much more sensible to lose the checklist and list of must have’s and must be’s. So what if the guy you just met is 5 ft 9 and not your requisite 6ft, you find him attractive don’t you? What’s a couple of inches anyway?
Which brings me back to the Black man, it’s a myth ladies. Not all Black men are hung like a donkey and not all White men are two inchers. If that were true all the White men would be single and no Sisters would give them the time of day, would they now?
In London where I am originally from no one bats an eyelid at interracial couples and for that I am grateful, London is a beautiful cosmopolitan city where almost anything goes. I am so glad I grew up there as half of my classmates at school were Jamaican due to the influx of West Indian immigrants in the 60s. Curried goat and rice and peas were so much more enticing than my mum’s roast dinner, much to her chagrin. I learned many (bad) Jamaican words thanks to my classmates and still use them on my many visits to Negril.
I decided to set up iloveyouraccent.com because so many of my friends’ marriages and relationships were breaking up. My American friends would ask if I could set them up with a lovely Brit and my British mates were asking me to get them a date with a gorgeous Yank.
Again, these people believed that everything would be OK if they met the American they saw in the movies. As for the Americans, they wanted to meet the type of Brits they saw on TV, always drinking tea and waking around in the fog wearing a cape of course.
One of the things that I see quite often on my site are the American women who write along the lines of this… Tired of American men, all they do is drink beer and watch football. The British girl writes this… Sick and tired of British men, all they do is watch football and go down to the Pub.
So when it comes down to it, I believe that men are men are men all over the world they just have different accents.
Rochelle Peachey is founder of the Transatlantic dating site ILoveyouraccent.com. She is also the author of Eat Your Lonely Heart Out (Virgin), and My 1,000 Americans (Random House). Additionally, she specializes in counseling psychology and is a dating/relationship guru and body language expert. Born and raised in London, England, she has lived in the USA for 12 years and currently resides in Florida with her husband and 2 sons.