Six Steps To The Ultimate Relationship

By guest blogger George E. James

Relationships. What are they good for? Everything!

Okay. If they’re good for everything, 
why are they a challenge?

This question can be answered from the traditional body-mind relationship concept. However there is a point-of-view that extends beyond tradition and is overlooked or blatantly ignored. This view comes from a silent and powerful dynamic influencing dimension, the Soul, our core essence, which knows our true intent and is also intimately involved in our relationships. By viewing and reviewing our relationships through a new perspective we open to new ways to create meaningful and soul-full relationships.

I asked my Soul: “What is the true reason for relationships?” The answer: “Beloved, contrary to human programming, relationships are about balance of opposites in both heart and mind. This is the challenge of challenges that will always, in all ways, keep you on your toes.”

After contemplating on my Soul’s answer I understood completely. Nothing, and I do mean nothing and no-thing, exists that is not in some way, or form, in relationship to some other way or form. And, my refusal to accept the spiritual truth, “We are here to love one another as “I” love you,” meant that until I accepted this, relationships would always/all-ways, be the teaching tool used to help me learn to let go of my illusion of separation, and would continue to be my hardest lessons to master on my journey.

As my 14-year relationship was in the process of dissolving, we tried all the traditional steps for help, to no avail. Since the writing was on the wall, I asked my Soul the following question: “I desire to fully grasp my inner secret dynamic that effects my outward relationship cycle, and a solution for healing?”

My Soul’s reply: “To learn the ‘secret dynamic’ you are invited to review the relationship between your personality, “you” and your soul essence “I.”  How have “you” treated “I”?  Have “you” shut out “I” through passive aggressive acts?  Have “you” demanded everything your way from “I”? Have “you” really listened, and taken to heart what “I” had to offer?      By examining this dynamic Beloved, ultimately you will see that the secret outward relationship is, in truth, a reflection of personality-soul dynamics, shrouded in illusion of dysfunctional belief systems and experience.

The ultimate solution resides in “Soul-personality” healing that leads to concrete flow and understanding of Oneness in the physical body, in daily living.

Yes, Beloved, everything external, including the personality, is impermanent. Only I, the Soul, hold’s the continuum of experience of life. This is where to focus–Soul in the body.  Then you will truly be “a Soul Man!”

Like a 3:00 a.m. plunge in glacial water the understanding my Soul had just shared with me about our relationship was honest, direct and chilling to the bone.

I’ll translate my Soul’s bone chilling wake-up call so you too can enjoy the plunge with me.

There are three aspects to our existence; body, mind, and Soul. The body is the dense part of us that has an expiration date. The mind is composed of intellect and personality. Personality can be thought of as a set of characteristics that describes your uniqueness in life. The Soul is said to be the essence of us that is immortal and knows us “inside and out.” In plain English—you can’t pull the wool over it for it sees right through you.

The first sentence is the Soul’s intention for me: “To learn the ‘secret dynamic.” It then proceeded to offer me an invitation: “… you are invited.” My Soul then gives the keys and which aspects to use in the process: “…to review the relationship (key) between your personality (aspect 1), “you” and your soul essence (aspect 2) “I.” In simple terms—Analyze your human characteristics in the way you interact with the immortal essence of you.

The next sentences contain the glacial chunks, in the form of questions. These questions specify the behaviors that my personality has applied to my interactions with my Soul essence, as well as my “true” intent behind them.

My Soul shares what the results of my honest self-analysis will be: “…, in truth, a reflection of personality-soul dynamics, …” It also tells me the two factors that caused my faulty dynamics… 
(1) shrouded in illusion of dysfunctional belief system and (2) experience.

The Soul provided me with the a solution—“The ultimate solution resides in ‘Soul-personality’ healing.” And the benefit this healing will have in my daily living—“… that leads to concrete flow and understanding of Oneness in the physical body, in daily living.”

The final glacial cube was a gentle reminder of my impermanent nature versus its immortal one— “Yes, Beloved, everything external, including the personality, is impermanent. Only I, the Soul, hold’s the continuum of experience of life.” Followed by an instruction in order to be successful— “This is where to focus–Soul in the body.” And like a good sales rep it told me the benefits—“Then you will truly be “a Soul Man!”

Now that I had received the truth to my question along with another golden opportunity to heal my relationship with it, I took action to follow through. I took each question as a beam of light and aimed it at my shadow personality. Here’s what the light revealed:

1] How have “you” treated “I”?  I ignored ‘I’ because I was bound by my pain and suffering. Along with my limited state of awareness, and locked into a belief that: “God had abandoned me to die in this miserable place.” I assumed I had all the answers and I was in charge of my life, therefore, I didn’t really value ‘I’ presence within my heart and its actions in my life.

2] Have “you” shut out “I” through passive aggressive acts? Yes, he said sheepishly.

3] Have “you” demanded everything your way from “I”? Yes, he said sheepishly, again.

4] Have “you” really listened, and taken to heart what “I” had to offer? No. I acted as if I was really listening and was going to follow through, however, inside I really didn’t believe ‘I‘ and had no intention to do what ‘I’ suggested, unless of course, my life was endangered.

By following my Soul’s suggestion to analyze our dynamic I came to fully accept the truth it had shared: “…see that the secret outward relationship dynamic is, in truth, a reflection of personality-soul dynamics, shrouded in illusion of dysfunctional belief systems and experience.”

Like a miner who struck gold by taking an active role in my healing, physically, emotionally and spiritually, I’ve been blessed to have a “Soul-personality healing.” And through the process of self-analysis and contemplation I’ve learned that when it comes to love we really only have two choices: to love or not to love.

My friend, our individual relationship lessons are unique for our growth.

However, the main root to heal what affects all our relationships is our Soul-Personality one. To help you be successful and achieve your ultimate Soul-mate relationship I offer you the following steps and advice on how to implement them:

1] Go to the Soul directly. There are several ways to make the approach. If you’ve taken an intuitive training, such as Perceptive Awareness Technique©, use your technique as your point of entry. Centering and prayer works well too. When using these techniques strive to be “awake and conscious” so you can dialog with the Soul.

2] Be honest and direct with the Soul. Since the Soul is your immortal essence it knows you inside and out, has seen you naked in the light, so be bold and tell it like it is.

3] Listen with open heart and mind to its wisdom and guidance. To do this means you consciously are awake and your focus of listening is through your heart center, not your personality.

4] Honestly analyze your deep hidden actions. Over the temple of Adelphia is written: “Man know thyself!” To look at yourself honestly may be painful to the ego, but it’s a sure way to open your heart to your Soul and Life. If you are strong enough to do this—you will move through whatever comes up. So like a famous shoe company’s market slogan said—“Just Do It!”

5] Be unafraid to change your ways. Jackie “Moms” Mabley, a famous Afro-American comedian, is known for this famous piece of advice: “If you always do it the same way, you’ll always get the same results.” In order to get a different result in life you have to give up your old way and do it differently. This means making a conscious choice to change for your Soul’s sake.

6] Choose LOVE. To make this choice means you are choosing to:

Live

One

Vibrational

Energy

So in the spirit of love and friendship I encourage you to go for the gold/goal, the ultimate relationship, become a Soul-Man or Soul-Woman.

George E. James is the founder of Ritam Personal Growth Services, and Facilitator-trainer for the Perceptive Awareness Training Institute. He is the author of Peeling the Onion: Poems of Spiritual Awakening, a book of transformational poems about the fivefold spiritual journey. Visit his website at: georgejames.org