The Injustices of Our Justice System

Domestic Violence is a Problem Very Close To Home

As I write this, I am sickened.  Sick with fury over the injustice that our “justice” system apparently affords innocent victims of domestic abuse and violence.  On the one hand, our government and agencies and also non-profits are out there helping women in situations of strife thousands of miles away.  On the other hand, right here at home, domestic violence continues.  What will it take for us to turn the focus on back here at home?  We need to fix the cracks in our system that penalize innocents and puts THEM on trial instead of the nasty, vile perpetrators who have no respect for human life.  I recently came across a story that stirred my anger over this mess even more.  As a physician, I’ve had to care for many people on both sides of the domestic abuse fence and quite frankly, I’m not too happy about it.  It’s bad enough that these people disrespect others by hurting them emotionally, mentally and physically – but then as a health care provider for me to be subjected to having an unbiased and non-judgmental stance when caring for those patients, is simply impossible.  Yes, society dictates that I treat all patients equally.  But I can’t help but think about the abused while caring for the abuser.

It happens in our courts system all the time.  We see lawyers, judges, district attorneys (who are supposed to be there to PROTECT society) – but all of these people have bad apples among them.  As a physician, what am I supposed to tell the woman who has been severely beat up by her chronically violent boyfriend and the court won’t allow his previous violent history as evidence?  How can I look into a man’s eyes and act like I care about his well being when I KNOW that just last night he didn’t care for the well being of his pregnant wife?  The part that hurts me even more is that when the abused retaliate in self-defense of their abusers, they are often the ones who are persecuted and prosecuted.  How is that just?

Here is an excerpt from the heart-breaking story I recently heard.  When you read this, it will bring home just how close domestic violence really is to home.

I first fled the violence at age 46 while four months pregnant with my first child.  But the shelter I went to was closed during the day so I had to walk around in the winter, which wasn’t healthy during a high-risk pregnancy.  I had no family or money so I went back “home”.

The second time I fled I was seven months’ pregnant and spent a month in the basement of a church, at Christmas time, hauling my enormous belly to the top bunk each night and roaming the streets all day.  When my thirty days was up I had little choice but to return “home”.

I fled again weeks before the birth. Then when my son was ten months old, after his father had chased me around the house calling me Satan and threatening to murder me, I left at night, barefoot and in the rain, with a sick child and got a restraining order that kept us safe for two years.

The story twists and turns for years with many more flights, court appearances and psychotic battles.  During a raging custody battle I moved back in with the abuser to protect my son from abuse during court-appointed visitations – better me then the child facing the maniac.

I called a TV how looking for help, thinking a lie detector test would get my pathological liar abuser to come to terms with his madness.  Can you imagine my terror as the phone rang – the producers were calling to talk to him, wanting to fly us out to their show immediately?  I fled the next day after another one of his rampages.

Now, two years later, he is down on his luck, after health problems and is asking for my expert help with his health – all humility and love.  I moved him into my home to be with our son, his Godfather and me.  A month later he assaulted my housemate, threatened him with a hammer and threatened to come back and murder my housemate if he went to jail, which he did.  I filed for a restraining order again and he didn’t even show up for the hearing.  Finally, he is not allowed to contact us and is on trial for a serious felony crime.

I knew that domestic violence victims get raked over the coals in court and usually are the ones that end up in jail or lose custody.  I have personal experience with an organization that works to right these wrongs.  But I wasn’t worried. The evidence was in our favor and since my accused can’t tell a truth I thought “under the threat of perjury” will kick his butt.

What I didn’t know is that a defendant in a criminal trial has the right to keep his prior bad acts off the record; a witness has no rights and “under threat of perjury” is just a darling catch phrase that means absolutely nothing.

My abuser lied about everything and anything and someone objected every time I opened my mouth – can’t step on HIS civil rights.  The abuser made accusations on the victim, fabricating ridiculous allegations and untruths.  He wasn’t asked for evidence and I wasn’t allowed to dispute anything and he was acquitted, now trying to bully his way back into our son’s life.

The prosecuting ADA put in writing that she knows he lied on the stand but that they aren’t going to do anything about it.  She raged at me at one point during the trial when I begged to put the information about our custody trial on record, which we had the legal right to do, now that the defense had opened the door.  I was silenced.  I had no rights.  Neither did the victim.

The outcome is now dangerous to my son, his Godfather and me, yet the DAs office is closed to us, the arresting Deputy won’t return a phone call and the allegations about the victim are public record.

Domestic violence never ends until someone dies.  The justice system is totally unprepared to deal with crimes that happen behind closed doors between parties that know each other.  The statistics say that children like my son are headed for their own jail cells.  The DA doesn’t seem to care.  I don’t know where else to turn.

As I wrap up this blog post, I have to say I’m feeling very upset.  At society.  And even at myself, for allowing this type of abuse to go on while the system is concerned about protecting the rights of the people who are wrong, rather than those who are wronged.  Like I learned as a Christian, am I too expected to say, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do”?