Warrior Mom Versus Tiger Mom

Excuse me for speaking bluntly, but I’m not one to hold back my true opinions… Yale graduate and professor, Amy Chua, is full of shit in her published memoir about Chinese mothering philosophy in her book The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Making claims that tough love and strict parenting techniques are the best way to produce successful young adults, her views have drawn much attention and controversy, including reviews from the NY Times! http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/20/books/20book.html

I’ll give you my personal opinion, as an educated professional, who is also a mother. We need to realize that there are many ways to perform the role of Mother. There is no one right way from one culture that supersedes all others. I mean, really, so what if your kid has high SATs and is a violin virtuoso! What does that do to stop wars and end poverty? Do we want every kid to be a clone of ever other kid? Diversity of talents and interests is one of the aspects of upbringing that makes our society so successful.

When I was living out my own form of being a warrior mom, my children were enrolled in many different types of schools – private, public, charter, catholic, military and education abroad. They were even homeschooled a bit. The beauty of their eclectic education has made them all unique rather than carbon copied clones of some zombie-kid ideal that Amy Chua promotes. My children play sports, compose music, create films and read Kant and Spawn graphic novels. Other people enjoy their company and so do I – because they enrich the world by being interesting in their endeavors and passionate about helping others. Sounds to me like a much better contribution to our society than a child who militant upbringing encouraged him to bury his nose in his books and violin practice.

So who is right? Amy Chua the Tiger Mom or Dr. Veronica the Warrior Mom? I see Amy as a sister friend doing her best and so does virtually every other mother. While I have shared my personal difference of opinion in raising my own children, there is no one right answer. It depends on what we want for our kids. What Dr. Veronica Warrior Mom wants is quite different than what Amy Chua Tiger Mom wants. Time will tell which of these mothers better impacts the world through her offspring.

References –

Amy Chua http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Chua