Confessions of a call girl: why you may want or want to be one

With Guests "Sheila" and Shana Ross

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This is the age of reinvention and perhaps no one knows that better than “Sheila,” who opted to become a prostitute at the age of 54. In this week’s episode of Wellness for the Real World the former teacher and interior decorator tells Dr. Veronica about her unpredictable path and fitness buff Shana Ross shares how women of a certain age can fight off frumpiness.

shana ross

SHANA ROSS, owner of Shana Ross Fitness in Houston, Texas, has been in the fitness industry since 1996 when, nearing 40, she decided to become a competitive bodybuilder. She decided to compete in a bodybuilding competition, and so began an adventure that has turned into a life-long passion.

As a young girl, Sheila, who uses a pseudonym, fantasized about being a prostitute but never dreamed she really would. But when she found herself freshly divorced following 22 years of marriage, living in another part of the country and not wanting to work as a music or substitute teacher anymore, the former interior decorator who once had her own store turned to the oldest profession. Intrigued by an ad on the back of a weekly entertainment magazine that offered to pay call girls $5,000 a week, she pursued this most unusual path for someone her age.

Convinced that was mature enough to do it in a healthy manner, she jumped.

“I took the big plunge,” she said. “I didn’t make $5,000 a week but I made good money.”

Dr. Veronica can understand the appeal. She says she had her come-to-Jesus moment when she heard the news that then New York Governor Eliot Spitzer paid a call girl several thousand dollars for a one-time meeting.

“That was the day I felt absolutely utterly stupid because I’ve never been paid $5,000 to do anything,” says Dr. Veronica, a Princeton alumnae and medical school honors grad.

The financial reward of being a high-priced call girl appeals to many women but few have the nerve to do what Sheila did. She thought about the irreversible title of “prostitute” being on her tombstone. Naturally, Sheila was scared when she embarked on her new journey. She wanted to operate on her terms with men accustomed to being the boss.

When it came time for her first encounter, “my heart just melted,” she said. “Everything I had ever heard about a John or someone who would see a prostitute, I knew was untrue. And there we were looking at one another, just as honest as we can be.  He wanted to take a shower.”

That’s right. A shower. He was a young man and had never showered with anyone before.  About half of her clients were single and the other half married. The single men often were trying to regain their confidence. They desired to become a better lover but didn’t know how. And she found that her married Johns weren’t coming so much for sex but to be seen and heard and with someone who wouldn’t judge them.

“Somebody they can authentic with,” Sheila says.

After a few weeks she felt like a natural at sexual healing and sexual authentic communication. She quickly became a sex coach and branched into writing books, giving seminars, weekend retreats and couples workshops.

“I didn’t know there was another way into authentic sexual learning,” Shelia said.

She built own website to take control, draw better clients and charge more. Calling herself a “sacred prostitute” or “sacred whore,” she teaches men and women how to receive ecstasy. Not surprisingly, she finds that people don’t know their bodies.

Sex, she assures, gets better as you get older.

“We would do the best service to tell our young people, ‘Oh, you think sex is pretty good now? Just wait.’ In my 60s now, I know it’s going to be much more outrageous than in my 50s, which left my 20s, 30s and 40s in the dust.

“The men who really are enlightened are the ones that realize they are going to have the best experience with a woman who knows, a woman who is confident in herself and also is confident in her body and knows her body,” Shelia says. “Those things tend to come with age.”

Her banner is to feel comfortable with your body, enjoy your body, share it often and share it authentically. She tells women to learn to say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no.

“If you don’t know what it is what you want, experiment and discover, knowing you can always change your mind,” she says.

While sex can get better with age, it’s important to keep one’s self together. And no one knows that better than Ross, a competitive body building until the age of 39, and the woman behind Shana Ross Fitness.

“You have to be comfortable in your skin where you are right now,” Ross says. “If you are in your 50s, which is where I am, you have to be comfortable there. You need to be happy about all of the knowledge that you have acquired to get you there. That confidence shows through and it is very sexy. Women think that after menopause they can’t be sexy.”

The first thing a person who decides to lose weight is not joining a gym but make a trip to their kitchen.

“It all starts in their kitchen,” Ross says. “If you’re not feeding yourself the good stuff, you’re not going to feel good about yourself. You’re not going to have energy. You’re not going to have the vitality of a younger woman. You’re not going to want to work out.”

She performs a “Kitchen Exorcist,” where she goes to a client’s kitchen and throws out junk food. Then it’s off to the grocery store, where she instructs on how to read labels. She doesn’t recommend counting calories.

“We have to approach food from nutrient density,” she said.

Avoid products like 100 calorie snack packs made by companies like Nabisco, which offers them with Ritz crackers, Chips Ahoy! and Oreo cookies.

“They are processed foods, which means a plant somewhere has already taken the nutrients out of those things,” Ross says. “ So when you put them in your body, your body doesn’t have to do anything with them. There’s no incentive for it to work. There is no boost to the metabolism. They are usually, always full of sugar and it’s the high fructose corn syrup, which immediately puts your body into fat storage mode.”

The worst thing a person can do is not eat.

“You have to eat to lose weight,” Ross says. “Digestion is activity. It causes your body to have to do work.”

She has what she calls the Seven Habits of Highly Healthy Women. One is to eat protein, which some people shun because they think it is calorie dense. Ross says that the body expends about 25 calories to digest every 100 calories of protein. It’s about 10 calories for carbohydrates and only five for fat. And that’s good fat – not bacon, sausage, ice cream and cheese.

It’s important to consume good fats, such as olive oil, coconut oil, flax seed oil, avocadoes, seeds, nuts, sesame seed butter, almond butter and tahini butter. Ideally, one should have a diet that is 50-52% percent fat, she says.

“Eggs are one of the most perfect sources of protein and fat combined,” Ross says. “And we’re talking about the whole egg. Put the yolk in there. Don’t be afraid of it.”

Real exercise, not just walking, is equally important. She says walking away the pounds is a myth.

“You have to sweat at least three times a week for at least 30 minutes and other days you have to be active,” she said. “You need to be doing some sort of activity six days a week.”

She recommends high intensity, compound exercises that work the full body and challenge the cardio vascular system and muscular system simultaneously. Personal trainers can help but if you don’t have the money to hire one on a regular basis, at least get a consultation, which sometimes are complimentary with a gym membership.

For the women who Dr. Veronica calls the “big, bold and beautiful,” those overweight women who waddle around proud of their size – especially in the African American community where 80% of the women are overweight – Ross says, “get off the cloud.” Carrying around junk in the trunk is harmful to one’s heart.

“No excuses,” Ross says. “Stop making them. Get up off of the couch. Throw away the Cheetos and let’s do it. You’ve got to start it now. The excuses are done.”

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